To start, a quote from O. S. Guinness:
The story of Christian reformation, revival, and renaissance underscores that the darkest hour is often just before the dawn, so we should always be people of hope and prayer, not gloom and defeatism. God the Holy Spirit can turn the situation around in five minutes.
As I sneak up on the two-year anniversary of my husband’s suicide, I seem to be struggling to survive. I am in great need of a “five minute” turn.
There are days that I think that I’m going to be okay, and other days when my sufferings are great.
In the last two years, everything has changed. The first six months after his death, I was in shock, and stumbled around – from pillar to post – trying to find a moment or two of solace. The second six monts, I was still in shock but (thanks to friends), found a rental home.
Last October, I purchased a small brick ranch in Suffolk, Virginia. Last month, I purchased a new car to replace my aging Camry. In the last few weeks, I’ve started looking through all those boxes that were hastily packed two years ago, only to find that I gave away or discarded about 50% of my earthly possessions.
My memory has returned, but most of those memories of life with him are upsetting, unnerving or devastating. There are no good memories left. They’re all tainted.
If you’re reading this, I would be grateful for your prayers for guidance and wisdom and health and wholeness.
In short, a turning of this situation.