Tomorrow morning, my husband of five years is going to get in his 12-mpg Ford F-150 truck and drive to Richmond (about 90 miles away) to attend a smoker’s convention. He’s very excited about this.

From what I understand, large numbers of tobacco-laden men will gather at this event, stand around and sit around and smoke pipes and talk about smoking pipes. Occasionally, someone might say, “I need to buy a new pipe,” and the others will agree, and then they’ll sit around and talk about their most recently purchased pipes or their favorite pipes.

My husband has a large collection of pipes. I do not understand the appeal and I do not understand pipes, but if I liked pipes, this one would be my favorite.

Now if I could just find him a little hat with horns and a human skull on top…

The pipe bears a stunning resemblance to its smoker.

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My husband has a large collection of pipes. I do not understand the appeal and I do not understand pipes, but if I liked pipes, this one would be my favorite.

Now if I could just find him a little hat with horns and a human skull on top…

To learn more about the 70 first dates I endured to find my pearl, click here.

Mr. Green Flannel (aka my 70th first date) and his pipe